Oh, Those Frogs!

France is a country whose citizens have attracted more stubborn stereotypes than any other in Europe. Arrogant, rude, bolshy, bureaucratic, sexist, chauvinistic, super chic and stylish are among many tags- true or not- attached to the supposedly garlic-eating, beret-wearing French.


The statement above is an excerpt from "europe on a shoestring" describing the culture of France. Amusing how the author gives a laundry list of negative traits, then refuses to take a stance-- that seems to be a strong indication that he/she feels all the stereotypes are true, but doesn't want to say so for fear of offending anyone. So, you might ask me, what are they really like, these French people?

The truth is: I still don't know. And I ponder the question every single day as I walk alongside them in the street, as I sit across from them on the metro, as I shuffle past one in the supermarket to buy bread. The problem, of course, is that half the time I can't understand what they're saying to me, or they can't understand what I'm saying to them. It basically comes down to this- I don't really know them, and I'm starting to wonder if I ever will.

Being a foreigner changes the way you think. You find yourself generalizing the behavior of individuals. As a result, every person you interact with is unfairly put in the position of representing his/her country. This is what I tend to do at least. If someone's rude to me in the U.S.- I think it's because they're rude. If someone is rude to me in France, I think it's because, well...they're French. And because the French do have so many negative stereotypes attached to them, they're already at a bit of a disadvantage. I'm ultra-perceptive to any bit of rudeness or laziness that the people here display because deep down, I'm sort of expecting it.

Given all this, it's impossible to make an objective judgment. I cannot tell to what extent my anxiety and insecurity about being a foreigner taints my view of the French, and I have to wonder if I would feel this way anywhere. Is it just a natural byproduct of culture shock, this hostile feeling that creeps up on me from time to time?

When you think about it, it's absurd to truly believe that a nation of people can think, act, live in a particular and similar way. And yet, stereotypes have to have at least an inkling of truth behind them- it's only that that truth is exaggerated and distorted. When I think about the stereotypes of Americans- shallow, materialistic, friendly but superficial, ambitious, fame-obsessed- I can't deny that I find them to be largely true. I can imagine a foreigner coming to the U.S. with all of these preconceived notions and finding confirmation of them everywhere they look. Then again, I would also hope that they would be pleasantly surprised to find that America is full of deep, genuine, and interesting individuals also-- because I know that it is. If this is true about America, I have to remind myself that it is also true about France.

But the fact is, and I'm beginning to realize and come to terms with it, I'll never see France the way a French person sees it. Okay, maybe if I decided to stay here for the rest of my life. Maybe. But now matter how settled I become, I'll always be l'etranger. And that's okay. I think everyone should be at least once in their lives.

Nothing will make you a patriot faster than being an ex-pat. If coming here has taught me anything, it's that France isn't perfect and America isn't so bad. Both have their problems. Both have their strengths.

I want to like the French. I really do. But they can make it mighty difficult. Here's how I feel about some of the aforementioned stereotypes.

Arrogant: In what sense? There is something ineffably arrogant about the pout they all wear. It's a bit intimidating. So are they're "super-chic" clothes. Is it so much that the French are arrogant, or that they just have that air of sophistication and self-possessedness about them that makes us think they are? Smiling is generally not a French past-time, and I think there is something quite humble looking about a smile-- something gracious and well, goofy. Conclusion: they might look arrogant, but in reality, they're probably much less fixated on success and fame as us Americans, trying to impress the world with our unnaturally white teeth.

Rude: They don't have much patience, that's for sure. And I don't appreciate the ones that just walk away from me without even bothering to say "thank you nonetheless" if I can't give them directions. On this one, I'd say that, in the world of customer service the French are DEFINITELY ruder than Americans. And the problem is that as students, this is the domain we spend most of our time dealing in. But the people outside of the domain I have always found to be very kind and thoughtful, even moreso than Americans sometimes.

Bolshy: This basically meaning pushy, I have to give a very definitive yes. The French are people who know what they want and are determined to get it. Unlike Americans who are almost obsessed with compromise, the French are unafraid to be particular and express it. I've found this with moms and their babysitting hours, teachers, and store clerks who demand exact change. This can be annoying- very- but at least they're upfront, eh? Probably leads to less resentment and passive-aggressive behavior between people in the end.

Bureaucratic: *walks into a secluded corner and laughs the hysterical laugher-of-the-damed*

YES.

Sexist: I can't tell you how many bitch-sessions I've had with my friends over the creepy behavior of French men. Despite the fact that the "Mother of Modern Feminism" Simone de Beauvoir, was herself French, it seems that this country hasn't lost it's latin influence in this domain. You know, the idea that women are objects put on this earth for men to feast their eyes upon. It's paradoxical in conjunction with the fact that, politically, France is fairly progressive in the realm of gender politics. Unlike America, reproductive rights aren't an "issue"- they're a guarantee. And if you do have a baby, child care is a lot easier to come by. Segolene Royal's formidable campaign demonstrated the country's support of female politicians. My only conclusion is that the people in politics are generally progressive-minded, but somehow, the rest of the country isn't.

Chauvinistic: As much as Americans are berated for this quality, the French have it, too. The only thing is that theirs seems a bit more justified, in light of the fact that they've got centuries of history and culture- a heritage that makes our mere 400 something years seem a little, well...dinky. It's only a speculations, but I'd guess that some of it has to do with that some of the "pride" stems from a desire to re-assert France's specialness in a world where it's strengths- litterature, art, philosophy- are no longer as highly valued. A world where countries like America- with plentiful economic and military might- but not as rich of a culture- tend to come out on top. Maybe that's why they won't accept my American Express card ANYWHERE in this city!

Super-chic and stylish- They are pretty fashionable. Men and women alike look like they've really put some thought into what they're wearing. I'd never want to go out in a hoodie and sneakers here. But I don't really miss being able to do that. I've found that a nice scarf and a pair of heels are just the sort of confidence boost one needs when braving the streets of a foreign city.
The downside is that the malls are crazy! I'll really be tempted to slap the next French person who accuses Americans of being materialistic. The best way I can think to describe an average day in a French mall...is like Christmas Eve in an American mall. The Christmas Eve of the Last Christmas Ever.

Once again, the mere act of writing this has proved illuminating. I'm not ready to give up on the French yet, and after all this contemplation, I feel that I may just be starting to understand them. A little.