Personne n'a pas un clue

Bienvenue à l'Université Jean Moulin 3! Let us take your money, and proceed to not be of one iota of help to you. It's quite simple- you give up $500 and we do what you could have just as easily done by yourself- reserve a room in a student residence hall. By no means do we give you any information, advice or help. If you ask us for help, we will either a) ignore you or b) giggle at your bad French. We are in our offices a good number of hours during the week, but that doesn't mean we have time to send you the slightest bit of the most basic information. You'll just have to go figure that out for yourself, I'm afraid! On our extremely confusing and poorly designed website, you idiot. So orientation is a week away and we haven't told you where the location is? Suck it up! This is a test of your fortuity, see? The FIRST of many tests. And if you fail, well, you're just not equipped for our wonderful ecole.

Aren't blogs supposed to start on a positive note?

Ah well, the time-tested truth prevails: there really and truly is no such thing as free lunch. You can go and have the awesome experience of studying in a foreign country rich in culture, history, replete with natural and architectural beauty...yes yes yes. This is what you think when you decide to study abroad-- oh, how wonderful! Who WOULDN'T study abroad?? But what you don't think about are the less glamorous aspects- the infinite list of tedious procedures you must go through before you can even board the plane, not to mention that infinite list of tedious procedures that ensue. You don't think about the bureaucracy, the long-distance phone calls to be made in the middle of the night, the hidden expenses, the nauseating nervousness, the endless worry that if you do one thing wrong, you might end up homeless, in jail, dead on the street (okay, only neurotics such as myself contemplate these possibilities, and yes, I have contemplated them...reading my insurance policy was no comfort "if client should die, we will pay for her body to be shipped back the U.S.)

Fortunately, I've had some previous experience with ex-patriation. I lived in Australia from age 8-13. Yes, they speak English there, and yes, I was under the care of my family. But it's something. I know what it's like to be homesick beyond all belief. I know what it's like to make an ass of yourself because you don't understand a culture. I know what it's like to be stigmatized because you're American. And I'd like that the whole thing ultimately left me with thicker skin. That's right, bitches, I don't take no crap from nobody! *tries, awkwardly, to do finger-snapping thing* But seriously, I've pretty much accepted that people are going to laugh at me and maybe even be cold to me because my sentences are usually along the lines of "I needing help to search for the street at the city." Such is life.

At the risk of sounding a bit...Pollyanna (and that's another thing to remember in France, not to carry around a big, dumb American smile) I really do believe a sense of humor can get you through, if not everything, a whole lot. And that's kind of what this blog is for. To take all the inevitable awkward, embarrassing experiences and transform them into something that holds entertainment value. Who knows, maybe one day I'll write a book about all this and make enough money to...return to France?

Now, it might be exciting for you to see just what this place I'm visiting looks like. I have found a couple of AWESOME photoblogs. Maybe they're just capturing the nice parts of the city, but regardless, I like what I see. From what I can tell Lyon is a beautiful place- a bit industrial- but historical, quaint in several areas annnnd just a little bit quirky, methinks.

http://cmonoeil.canalblog.com/

Some of the pictures are a bit random (I have no idea what "goodbye" is about) but the person is religious about posting every day, even if it means just a picture of his/her cats)

http://www.lyondailyphotoblog.com

Also, if you have Google Earth, you can look at that. There are lots of photos of the city on there, too. And of course, I'll be posting some of my own soon.

Well folks, I've got packing to do. Stay tuned for my adventures in most-probably-sketchy auberge de jeunesses (youth hostel). Yeahhh!